Week Three

After not having our clinical last Monday because of Labor Day (mind you, I was still doing work and studying for classes that day anyway), it was nice to be back this week. Since the lecture that corresponds with our lab is on Tuesday and we had lab Monday, the first two weeks we did skills before having learned about them; now that we’re technically a week “behind,” we’ll discuss the skills before actually trying to do them in the lab, which is preferable. This week we learned about oxygenation (how to decide when to use and how to properly apply a nasal cannula, face mask, etc.), suctioning, and tracheotomy care. The skills were pretty easy (on the mannequins) and went pretty quickly, but I feel doing things like trach care will be a totally different ball game on a real patient. Once again, I thoroughly enjoyed the time in the lab and did well, building my confidence.

Speaking of…my confidence is like a constant roller coaster these days, I mean more than usual. Now that we’re all in Upper Division, the competition should pretty much be over. Yes, we’re competing for jobs against someone (and since I plan to leave South Carolina, I’m probably not competing with a single person in my class for a job), but for the most part, as long as we graduate, it won’t matter if our GPA was a tenth of a point higher or if we had one more extracurricular activity. I feel like now we should focus on actually learning the material (which grades are not necessarily a reflection of, by the way), bettering ourselves as nurses, and helping each other through instead of worrying about being better; if we all graduate the same, but someone is badly representing our university and the nursing profession, no one wins. Now, I’m a perfectionist, so usually I’m not totally satisfied with anything less than an A, and I got good grades in high school, so there’s already been some adjustment not making straight-A’s in college, but for the most part, I’m happy with my success in college so far. I realize I sacrificed some experiences and grades to study abroad, but in the long-run of life, that was much more important than even a few tenths of a GPA. And even though I’m never happy about a low grade, I’m usually happy when I get a grade that reflects the effort I put into whatever the assignment was; what always screws me up is when I compare myself with other people and start feeling self-conscious. In the end, I got a B+ on the exam; not an A, but considering what I put in and how I felt on the exam, I was happy with that grade. Comparing with others is such a Catch-22 because I felt simultaneously more confident when I did better than someone and less confident when I did worse, obviously; I've learned that you don't get to feel great doing better than others if you don't want the reverse feeling when you do worse than someone. My goal is to stop comparing myself with others and just be happy with myself and my accomplishments. No, a little friendly competition isn’t a bad thing, but when it gets to the point where people turn every little thing into a competition, it has gone too far.

Anyway, back to my clinical day. The Student Nurses’ Association on campus had its semi-annual Back-to-School Bash from 4:30-7, and since I was still up on campus when we got done with clinicals at 2:30 and was planning to go to it anyway, I decided to help them with set up. In the mean time, I got some work done in the computer lab in the nursing building, so already it had been a long, productive day. Helping set up was also a good way to meet some of the other students in SNA, particularly some in Upper Division with me; throughout the Bash, I also talked with some of my professors, which is always a good experience. I was still wearing my scrubs from clinicals, and I honestly feel like between that and being an Upper Division student, I’m really being taken much more seriously than I was even a month ago. It’s really nice to already get respect wearing the uniform, so I can’t wait until I feel more like I deserve it and am more confident in my abilities. After I had spent some time at the Bash and before it was over, I met with my pharmacology professor and a few of my classmates to go over our first exam; it was nice to finally meet the professor (my closest friends in UD with me already knew her from taking one of her classes last semester), to see what I got right/wrong (some educated guessing happened on that exam haha), and again to mingle with some of the other Upper Division students. Then I helped break down from the Bash, which meant I spent a whopping 11 hours at the College of Nursing in one day. Long day, but definitely a good, productive one; I met 3 professors, some of my nursing peers, and talked with some other professors/students I hadn’t seen in a while, in addition to feeling like a more appreciated part of nursing.